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she went over to his apartment clutching her decision and he said, did you come here to tell me goodbye? so she built a skyscraper of procrastination and then she leaned out the twenty-fifth floor window of her reply and she felt like an actress just reading her lines when she finally said yes. it's really goodbye this time and far below was the blacktop and the tiny toy cars and it all fell so fast and it all fell so far and she said: you are a miracle but that is not all you are also a stiff drink and i am on call you are a party and i am a school night and i'm lookin' for my door key but you are my porch light and you'll never know, dear just how much i loved you you'll probably think this was just my big excuse but i stand committed to a love that came before you and the fact that i adore you is but one of my truths what of the mother whose house is in flames and both of her children are in their beds crying and she loves them both with the whole of her heart but she knows she can only carry one at a time? she's choking on the smoke of unthinkable choices she is haunted by the voices of so many desires she's bent over from the business of begging forgiveness while frantically running around putting out fires but then what kind of scale compares the weight of two beauties the gravity of duties or the ground speed of joy? tell me what kind of gauge can quantify elation? what kind of equation could i possibly employ? and you'll never know, dear just how much i loved you you probably think this was just my big excuse but i stand committed to a love that came before you and the fact that i adore you is just one of my truths so i i'm goin' home to please the one i so love pleasing and i don't expect he'll have much sympathy for my grieving but i guess that this is the price that we pay for the privilege of living for even a day in a world with so many things worth believing in

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