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Versurile Freak Kitchen - Mr Kashchei And The 13 Prostitutes
Versuri Mr Kashchei And The 13 Prostitutes
New in town? Got it all, ya´ wanna buy a gram?
Funny accent, a Russian in Amsterdam?
Looking for a job or need a place to stay?
Go see Kashei...
What the hell, I said, how bad can it be?
And checked the address the guy gave to me
The letters were smudged, Dead knight district?!?
A name for a derelict...
Zdrastvujtje! My name is Ivan
Is this the right place? I´m here to see a man
A Mr Kashchei, I was invited in
To The House of Sin...
Then the world exploded, the only thing I recall
Before I woke up, tied to a concrete wall
Let me introduce myself and welcome to my club
I´m your local Beelzebub
What am I doing here?
What in the name of a Hun
Powder all around me
Smoke that makes me dizzy
Unfamiliar devices
Women smiling tempting
Syringes injecting
Lies and pseudo paradises
Fake paradises...
While tied to the wall, Ivan, who was to naive to
fathom the shit he was in, made semi-romantic
moves (well, since he was tied up) on one of the
girls in Kashchei´s harem. Ivan´s innocent,
Irkutskian eyes made a monumental impression on
the somewhat jaded girl and she rediscovered
feelings she thought were dead and buried a long
ago. Love was in the maruana air...
The evil Mr Kashchei and his sinister drug
pushers, whom he provisioned with free dope to
keep them ignorant and dumb, had settled back for
a few Z´s. Meanwhile, Ivan was cut loose by his
new found love and they decided it was time they
leave. So did the other girls who were fed up
spending time in the thick of things.
All of a sudden Kashchei opened his eyes and
instantly aware of what was going down he
unleashed his thunderous rage. No one fucks with
Kashchei! Nikto ne ebat so mnoj! Especially not
whores and cocksuckers named Ivan! , he screamed
furiously, his appearance all the more
frightening.
A few of the pushers vaguely percieved the tumult
but were too stoned to ascertain the circumstances
and retired, contented, to their state of inhaled
bliss.
However, one of the girls knew about Kashchei´s
Achilles´ heel; (ironically) that hard boiled
Satanic, son-of-a-bitch, son-of-a-Hun was
allergic. She managed to sneak out the back door
in search of some kind of animal, preferably a cat
or a dog. In a streetcorner lay a Dutch shepherd
with orange fur and a puzzled look that became
more puzzled as the girl picked him up and dashed
back to The House of Sin. The dog, friendly by
nature, mistook Kashchei´s shouting and waving
for an invitation to play and leaped up on his
chest causing an immediate hypersensitive
reaction, leaving the drug dealing pimp panting on
the floor, Delft-blue in the face...
Ivan and the former 13 prostitues escaped and
took the first available flight out of the
country, whose destination happened to be
Portugal. The heroic dog was quickly named
Lucifers (Fire in Dutch) at the airport before
checking into quarantine.
Ivan and company now live as suburban idiots, and
love it, in a commune outside of Lisbon.
Mr Kashchei got arrested but avoided custody
since drug dealing hardly ain´t a crime in the
Netherlands anymore. He later moved to Copenhagen
and became a politician. His pusher dudes are
still wandering about the streets of Amsterdam in
their purple haze...
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